Comments on: Why yes, I do have a diorama of the JFK assassination in my house...

Why yes, I do have a diorama of the JFK assassination in my house...

PostIronyIsNotaMyth — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:02:15 -0800

So you're Roland Emmerich, Hollywood super producer/director, and you buy an apartment in Knightsbridge, London. Friends tell you the neighborhood is a bit "staid." Not caring, you tell your interior decorator to make it so "that when the neighbors peek in, they might want to call the police or something."

By: Bora Horza Gobuchul

Bora Horza Gobuchul — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:07:13 -0800

Nice to know that bad taste truly does come home to roost.

By: DU

DU — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:10:16 -0800

A taxidermy zebra faces the living room, which reflects his predilection for art with a political edge. Supports a half-white, half-black candidate? The chalkboard room is awesome. John Nash would approve. ...a statue of Arnold Schwarzenegger inspired by Rodin's "The Thinker." lol

By: starman

starman — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:11:16 -0800

Taste or no taste, I think I'd rather watch a movie directed by the designer.

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:11:57 -0800

A lot of that is pretty yuck, but I have to agree, the chalkboard room is an awesome idea.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:13:32 -0800

I don't know what to say. It's both awful and great, embarassing and really fun, just like his movies.

By: xod

xod — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:14:10 -0800

I like the photo(?) of Princess Di. Actually, if you'll pardon the askmefi derail, anyone know where this image comes from?

By: Bora Horza Gobuchul

Bora Horza Gobuchul — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:14:53 -0800

Further (and perhaps more to the point) I thought that the raison d'être for that kind of design was that you had interesting stories to tell about the objects, tales that related to your life and experiences: "Oh, I found this in a marketplace in Ghana. There was an amazing woman there..." rather than "Oh, thanks. My designer has an eye for things." Some of the ideas: blackboard paint on the walls - are actually really practical. But you know that Emmerich didn't draw the I'm-not-really-a-conspiracy-theorist-ha-ha little scribbles on the walls, which just strikes me as fraudulent and sad.

By: trueluk

trueluk — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:16:21 -0800

Is that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in his guest bedroom's bedside photo?

By: Mr Bunnsy

Mr Bunnsy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:16:59 -0800

The sense of humor that permeates the tacky, freaky decor is wonderful. Chess Rambo and Arnold as The Thinker. I'd love to get a tour of the place, or better yet, a few hours to explore. That said, I can't imagine living in a place like that. How do you feel at home inside an elaborate joke?

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:19:19 -0800

I am not a fan of his movies, but I do like his house.

By: mkb

mkb — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:20:56 -0800

The library coffee table is made of a missile from Iraq and holds an Arabs-and-Americans chess set commissioned by Mr. Teall. (On the Arab side, pieces include an oil rig, Saddam Hussein and a suicide bomber, and on the American side, an exploding World Trade Center, President Bush and Rambo.)

By: padraigin

padraigin — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:21:44 -0800

Some of this stuff's pretty rad, although I agree that it's lame when a house like this is entirely sourced by a designer, rather than being the result of years of eccentricity accumulating in the form of awesome crap. How do you feel at home inside an elaborate joke? And that's what makes you feel at home in it, when it's all your joke.

By: Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:22:34 -0800

Is that an alarm cock on the other side of the bed from Ahmadinejad in the guest bedroom?

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:22:59 -0800

Amusing for 30 secs, but would you really want to live here? It's like being told the same tasteless knock knock joke on the hour, every fucking day, for the rest of your life.

By: These Premises Are Alarmed

These Premises Are Alarmed — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:24:13 -0800

I dig this. I like the Pope reading his own obituary. If only he were on the can.

By: nowonmai

nowonmai — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:24:28 -0800

That's pretty vile. He should be deported or something. Glad I left Knightsbridge more than a decade ago; the place is filling up with riff-raff.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:27:42 -0800

It's hard to buy a sense of humor in an age of self inflation. But he does seem to have a thing for stuffed zebras.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:28:12 -0800

Is that an alarm cock on the other side of the bed from Ahmadinejad in the guest bedroom? "Sorry I'm late, I was sleeping over at Emmerich's and kept hitting the ooze button... "

By: potsmokinghippieoverlord

potsmokinghippieoverlord — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:29:04 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house, or the abode of John Waters.....

By: Iosephus

Iosephus — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:31:12 -0800

You know, for a second I thought the pope was sitting in a toilet doing his thing. After seeing the rest of the pictures, I don't think it would have mattered much. Great thing for the guests to find when they wake up in the middle of the night and go in search of a snack, toilet or not toilet pope!

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:34:21 -0800

Toilet Pope is daring you to masturbate.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:37:26 -0800

I really dig the office with the chalk writing, sketches, equations, and whatever all over the walls and ceiling. That has the kind of borderline crazy/ genius thing I could see wanting to convey to guests.

By: philip-random

philip-random — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:40:44 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house, or the abode of John Waters..... I'm thinking that Lynch's house would be surprisingly normal at a glance, with weird details at closer inspection. Waters' would likely be a little more consciously absurd, but even so, I suspect it would be decidedly livable ... unlike Roland E's little hell-hole of cool-as-fuck indulgence. But what do you expect from a guy who's crowning moment is still Independence Day which, let's face it, only an American could love.

By: ZenMasterThis

ZenMasterThis — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:51:02 -0800

Tres shocking!!!! *yawn*

By: potsmokinghippieoverlord

potsmokinghippieoverlord — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:54:37 -0800

*yawn* Now you've done it! You've set off the dog!

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:24:09 -0800

Not sure if this has been pointed out or not, but this is quite possibly eponysterical.

By: Hypocrite_Lecteur

Hypocrite_Lecteur — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:25:33 -0800

I'm thinking that Lynch's house would be surprisingly normal at a glance, with weird details at closer inspection. I was thinking the same thing, except I think it would be surprisingly normal (possibly in a fifties suburban lace curtains sort of way), and then, on closer inspection, it would continue to be completely normal. And this would be unbelievably creepy because you could never stop feeling like the other shoe was about to drop.

By: contraption

contraption — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:30:42 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house, or the abode of John Waters..... No photos, but here's an article about the Waters estate.

By: winna

winna — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:42:23 -0800

If he wanted to irritate his neighbors, why not skewer a lot more British institutions and significant figures? If nothing else, a diorama of the Profumo affair would be far more entertaining than the JFK diorama, depending what point of the scandal you chose to depict.

By: Zambrano

Zambrano — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:46:46 -0800

Clearly just a vehicle for self-promotion- and The Times falls for it. I'll bet he doesn't even live there.

By: pupdog

pupdog — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:49:02 -0800

If I ever have a decorator completely kit out a house, please smack me. Adding your own knickknacks is part of what makes it fun.

By: contraption

contraption — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:49:43 -0800

That guest is room is full of interesting things. In addition to the Ahmadinejad portrait and the dong clock, the bedspread appears to be made from olive drab mens' briefs. Of course The Times only calls attention to the headboard which, once again, is made from an airplane wing(!)

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:59:04 -0800

Anyone remember the nice old house in Beetlejuice and what the new owners did to it? Yeah. This place makes Graceland look tasteful. I'm thinking that Emmerich's interior decorator raided the dumpster at House on the Rock.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:00:16 -0800

That's a photo of either Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Jonathan Frakes.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:00:23 -0800

If I ever have a decorator completely kit out a house, please smack me. Adding your own knickknacks is part of what makes it fun. Once you are rich enough to not worry about money, you are free to buy a personality lock stock and barrel. Buying TASTE, however, seems to be a problem regardless of how much cash you have.

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:22:41 -0800

The airplane wings and such remind me of my old neighbor Telstar's house in San Francisco except, well, he did it himself.

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:27:49 -0800

Also Emmerich's "Library" doesn't actually have any books. That's already the complete opposite of my dream library.

By: droplet

droplet — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:36:01 -0800

It's like being told the same tasteless knock knock joke on the hour, every fucking day, for the rest of your life. And it's too much of the same joke. Every room has to make some "witty" comment about Western hegemony? His entire house smacks of undergraduate posturing. I do like the mural of the soldier in his bedroom, though.

By: jhc

jhc — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:40:02 -0800

If you want a room covered in writing surfaces, might I recommend white melamine, which makes decent whiteboards, and is available from Home Depot in thin 4 x 8 foot sheets for a song. It's not so dust-producing or gloomy as blackboard paint (although it doesn't have that Einstein feel either, I admit).

By: yort

yort — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:40:13 -0800

The airplane wings and such remind me of my old neighbor Telstar's house in San Francisco fuck me

By: RakDaddy

RakDaddy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:40:42 -0800

I'd rather like in a house than a museum curated by some Abbot Kinney-grade* assclown. (Though I think the blackboard painted office would be cool as hell.) *Abbot Kinney is a street in Venice, CA that's become the new home of the wealthy wanker class. Though now that I've written about it here, some alarm has probably gone off and started an exodus to some other part of the city. Plenty of room for your art collections out in Lancaster, you swine!

By: D.C.

D.C. — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:41:37 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house . . . On the Inland Empire DVD there's a short film of David showing how to cook quinoa, in what appears to be his home. I remember it being fairly normal, although obviously not an inexpensive house.

By: Squid Voltaire

Squid Voltaire — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:43:31 -0800

"What do you think?" he demanded impetuously. "About what?" He waved his hand toward the book-shelves. "About that. As a matter of fact you needn't bother to ascertain. I ascertained. They're real." "The books?" He nodded. "Absolutely real--have pages and everything. I thought they'd be a nice durable cardboard. Matter of fact, they're absolutely real. Pages and--Here! Lemme show you."

By: rhymer

rhymer — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:44:41 -0800

Blah... Another Georgian London facade with something completely radical and modern and interior designed to shit behind it. Can you smell the amazing juxtaposition of old and new? Is the house surprising you with its playfulness yet? Is it statement about, like, wow or, like some shit, or something? He'd have probably freaked the neighbours out a whole lot more if he'd left painted the house in tasteful period colours and filled it with antiques.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:45:00 -0800

Actually, if you'll pardon the askmefi derail, anyone know where this image comes from? The one of Diana? It looks like a relatively well known portrait of her (I don't know the photographer) with the hand photoshopped on. (I can tell it's a photoshop from the pixels and having seen quite a few shops in my time). or the abode of John Waters.... In the special features on the DVD for Cecil B. Demented you see large chunks of Waters' house. About what you'd expect, really: relatively normal, with the odd creepy thing laying around (including, and this horrifies me not least because Waters is gay and the victims were all young gay men, paintings by John Wayne Gacy). The thing is, with Waters it's genuine; the detritus of a fairly weird brain living a fairly weird life. This guy's house is just an act. It's all style, no substance. And honestly, I think it would be incredibly tiring to live in a house that is so AGGRESSIVELY WEIRD AND I AM A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Doubly so when the weirdness is all from a designer, and none of it is actually yours. I do like the chalkboard office, though. Anyone remember the nice old house in Beetlejuice and what the new owners did to it? Yeah. Precisely! What a great way to put it. In fact, I nominate that as the name for this interior design trend: The Beetlejuice Effect coming soon to a theatre near you. I mean... I know that the 5th avenue Puzzle Apartment posted here a couple months ago is essentially the same kind of idea. But it had taste. This is brash. Blech.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:50:23 -0800

The airplane wings and such remind me of my old neighbor Telstar's house in San Francisco What yort said. That is an amazing house.

By: ocha-no-mizu

ocha-no-mizu — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:55:36 -0800

Zelda looks lonely.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:05:17 -0800

one more voice here saying it's underwhelming when some rich cunt pays a designer to create something quirky for them, as opposed to real people who actually have to spend time searching the shit out, accumulating it over a years & years. the furniture made out of the WW2 warplane, would be awesome, for example, if you could actually tack a story onto it: "yeh, this messerchmitt crashed near my grandparents' farm & the RAF stored parts of it in their barn for analysis. The war ended before they could get to it, and it was soon forgotten..." ...as opposed to "oh, my designer bought it somewhere, not sure how much it cost. what sort of plane was it, did you say? fucked if I know! do you wanna see my replica of Hitler's bathtub? It's made out of sardines, embedded in perspex!"

By: xchmp

xchmp — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:24:25 -0800

If you have to make this much effort to be interesting then you aren't. From my limited exposure to these kinds of look inside my house/office features, I've noticed that interesting people tend to live in somewhat dull but very functional spaces presumably because they don't want to be distracted from the interesting things they're doing.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:25:10 -0800

Money might not be able to buy taste, but wow, it sure can buy you a lot of really cool shit.

By: asok

asok — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:47:48 -0800

This man is single.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:55:09 -0800

Isn't that the house where Alex and his droogs beat the crap out of the old man while raping his wife?

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:09:49 -0800

Great work by Teall and Flux; funny as hell. I know some of you think it a shame that Emmerich "bought" his taste, but that's what professionals are for. We don't expect people to be their own lawyers. Anyway, there are more samples at the Flux website.

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:40:16 -0800

"he decided it would be much funnier [than x] to depict the pope reading his own obituaries." Exercise: for what values of x is this statement true?

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:50:28 -0800

His house makes me want to punch him right in the face. Then again, each passing year presents me with more things that incline me towards punching certain people in the face, so I suppose that's not such a telling reaction.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:56:03 -0800

I dig this. I like the Pope reading his own obituary. If only he were on the can. I thought he was on the can. I was all set to make a Pope-on-the-John Paul joke, but then I realized it was just a chair. Well, mission accomplished anyway, I guess.

By: Capybara

Capybara — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:56:09 -0800

one more voice here saying it's underwhelming when some rich cunt pays a designer to create something quirky for them, as opposed to real people who actually have to spend time searching the shit out, accumulating it over a years & years. But wouldn't it be awesome to be that designer? "Here's an assload of cash. Have fun." Chance of a lifetime to do some wild things without having to worry about upsetting the client.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:58:24 -0800

I think he's auditioning to direct the next Addams Family sequel/revival. Because I can see a Gen Y Gomez Addams doing the same thing (but maybe with animals other than zebras). Ooky.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:05:08 -0800

I hope to be rich enough some day to have people complain about my terrible taste.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:15:07 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house, or the abode of John Waters..... Waters' house is awesome. He has a room he commissioned from an artist which looks like the room of a bombmaker. He has a letter from the artist stating its purpose in case the place is ever raided. He also has an electric chair in his living room. And... best of all, he takes a polaroid of *every* *single* person who knocks on his door, gets them to sign their name, and puts them in an album. Some are of famous people of course but many are the mailman and the UPS guy and the hydro guy, etc.

By: jfrancis

jfrancis — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 17:31:12 -0800

I worked for him on ID4. He's a pretty nice guy. He also by coincidence lives a few blocks from me in LA (where the neighborhood takes a sudden turn for the better). I wonder what his LA place looks like inside.

By: crossoverman

crossoverman — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:26:10 -0800

I'd rather see David Lynch's house, or the abode of John Waters... David Lynch's house is featured in Lost Highway - and even in the film, I expect that's how he lives, minimally furnished with the occasional tear in the space-time continuum. Or psychogenic fugue. Or whatever actually happened in that film.

By: Mephisto

Mephisto — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:37:25 -0800

I like the study with chalk-board paint (or, back in my days, what we used to call "blackboard"). Anyway, the rest is pretentious claptrap. Expensive, elitist, condescending and expensive claptrap. What a twat.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:39:41 -0800

But wouldn't it be awesome to be that designer? "Here's an assload of cash. Have fun." Oh hell ass yes.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 20:07:27 -0800

especially when you don't have to actually live in the results, day to day.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:23:52 -0800

What a remarkably artificial residence. It's certainly not a "home," but just a place to stay.

By: gyusan

gyusan — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:33:34 -0800

the Diana photo is by Alison Jackson- http://www.alisonjackson.com/photos.html

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:38:45 -0800

Ahhh.. a fake.

By: awfurby

awfurby — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 22:32:20 -0800

I always wonder about Mao dolls and artefacts - I mean, would you buy an Idi Amin doll? Or a Stalin doll?

By: [son] QUAALUDE

[son] QUAALUDE — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 23:01:00 -0800

i re-logged in after 6 months to just to say: "that is frickin' cool"

By: Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese

Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 23:01:03 -0800

I was impressed until I looked at the Telstar house photos. That's what the real thing looks like.

By: bokononito

bokononito — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 23:46:27 -0800

Typical yuppy rebellion - synthetic and uniform to the core.

By: flashboy

flashboy — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:15:20 -0800

Michael Bay, the ball's in your court.

By: vbfg

vbfg — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 01:40:04 -0800

I always wonder about Mao dolls and artefacts - I mean, would you buy an Idi Amin doll? Or a Stalin doll? If you can tell me where I can get a Stalin doll then I will have a Stalin doll by the end of the week.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:23:11 -0800

I know some of you think it a shame that Emmerich "bought" his taste, but that's what professionals are for. We don't expect people to be their own lawyers. Nor do we expect them to represent themselves in their own living room. Wait... What?

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:18:58 -0800

If you can tell me where I can get a Stalin doll then I will have a Stalin doll by the end of the week. This fascinates me, if it's genuine. Seriously, why would you want such a thing? I'm truly interested.

By: computech_apolloniajames

computech_apolloniajames — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:42:04 -0800

What, no Kim Jong Il doll?

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:44:28 -0800

Emmerich already has you beat. He has a Lenin and Stalin pillow. Carefully fluffs his Lenin and Trotsky pillow, with Marx Comforter and Engels doll, and if you act now, a Kollontai commemorative drinking glass

By: vbfg

vbfg — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 06:46:12 -0800

Seriously, why would you want such a thing? I'm truly interested. Cos my book shelves are dotted full of objects that represent things that have been interesting / important to me over the years. I have a towers of hanoi puzzle cos I was a comp sci student. I have a Ferguson tractor cos I'm an Archers fan. I have been fascinated by Soviet history for years, and I want a Stalin doll for my shelf. I don't venerate Stalin, but if there's a doll available and I can find it I'm having one. The nieces and nephews are growing up so there are probably gaps in my mother's knitting schedule. I may put an order in.

By: xod

xod — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 07:45:28 -0800

the Diana photo is by Alison Jackson- http://www.alisonjackson.com/photos.html posted by gyusan Thanks, gyusan!

By: Nelson

Nelson — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:26:55 -0800

The photo spread mentiones A chair on the terrace was made of Shell oil cans by children in Ghana. Wow, child labour chic!

By: Lucinda

Lucinda — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:43:26 -0800

If you can tell me where I can get a Stalin doll then I will have a Stalin doll by the end of the week. I have a set of Matryoshka dolls that goes Gorbachev/Khrushchev/Mao/Stalin/Lenin. And I agree that the blackboard room is cool. I also like the Ministry of Internal Affairs replica door. Perhaps I can get my woodworking husband to make me one.

By: mecran01

mecran01 — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:49:48 -0800

Imagine an entire house that looks like the bathrooms at the Rimsky-Korsakov coffee house in Portland.

By: PM

PM — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:37:42 -0800

Excuse me, PostIronyIsNotaMyth, but after this post you'll have a trickier time demonstrating that post irony is not a myth.